


Father Dearest

by Baroness_of_Bara



Category: Fallout 4
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Play, Drugged Sex, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Emotionally Repressed, Exploitation, Father/Son Incest, Gaslighting, Gay Male Character, Hancock makes an appearance but he's not that important and he's not a ghoul yet, He isn't one in name but he might as well be, Inaccurate portrayal of a Pip-Boy, Kidnapping, M/M, Manipulative Relationship, Masturbation, Masturbation in Shower, Nathan is a nice man and really deserves none of this horseshit, Non-Consensual Groping, Non-Consensual Kissing, Non-Consensual Oral Sex, Non-Consensual Spanking, Non-Consensual Touching, Non-Consensual Voyeurism, Obsessive Behavior, On Shaun's part, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining, Possessive Behavior, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Power Imbalance, Psychological Trauma, Public Humiliation, Public Sex, Rape Aftermath, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sexual Abuse, Sexual Slavery, Shaun is a borderline sociopath, Stalking, The Author Regrets Everything, Unreliable Narrator, We covered the canon in pitch, and tossed it into the grand canyon, honestly just about every single sex act portrayed in this story is non-con on someone's part, lit it on fire, no beta we die like men, sorta - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-08
Updated: 2018-08-24
Packaged: 2019-06-06 08:40:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15191006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Baroness_of_Bara/pseuds/Baroness_of_Bara
Summary: Perhaps in another world, Father impulsively decided to release the Sole Survivor of Vault 111 from cryostasis far earlier. 20 years earlier.Perhaps their reuniting was far less clinical on Shaun's part.Perhaps, in this other world, Shaun Locksley became smitten with Nathan Locksley.Nathan Locksley, naturally, doesn't feel the same way.However, just like the reality we know, Father has never been good at backing off.





	1. Father and Father

**Author's Note:**

> Wow. 
> 
> Holy fuck, please stop me from doing this  
> I will literally take any opportunity to back out of this.
> 
> I've had this sick plot idea in my head for like a year, and it's taken me a year to work up the courage to write it down.  
> Personally I've always thought of Shaun as...a really fucked up person. Like, listen to how he speaks in-game. That boy ain't right.  
> The game missed a few opportunities. Like, not THIS fucked up, but...just saying, the opportunity was there to make Father a bit more psychologically complex Bethesda.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not condone incestuous relationships whatsoever. They are illegal, and can be very unhealthy. Any positive views on it portrayed in this story are not my own views.

* * *

 

 The database we had recovered from Vault-Tec HQ had given us a wealth of information.

Namely, that Vault-Tec was run by utter lunatics who seemed to think it justified to put their dwellers through what was akin to psychological torture. Even in the pursuit of knowledge and scientific discovery, their...'social experiments' were more sadistic than scientific. Hardly necessary. I scanned the files, scoffing at ridiculous, downright depraved experiment after experiment.

 

 

> _**Vault-Tec Vault #111** _

I blinked. Vault 111. This had been the vault that I had been recovered from. I clicked into it, curious. I had never known much about where I had come from. The scientists that had raised me never thought it prudent to discuss very often.

 

 

> _**Purpose: To examine the effects of cryogenic stasis on the individual, in the short term.** _
> 
> _**Side note: Observe the effects of prolonged isolation and low supply amount on the staff** _

My lip curled in distaste. How redundant. Anyone with a brain could figure out what would occur when a group of people were trapped belowground with low supplies and no contact with the outside world.

I scanned over the list of dwellers, when a name caught my eye.

 

 

> **_Nathan Locksley_**

Nathan Locksley was the name of my father. We had been put in cryostasis together, when Conrad Kellogg recovered me from the vault.

> **_Born May 23, 2051_ **
> 
> **_Battlefield medic and Power Armor technician_ **
> 
> **_Graduated from the Commonwealth Institute of Technology with a Masters in Robotic Engineering_**
> 
> **_Residence in Sanctuary Hills, Massachusetts_**
> 
> **_Lives with husband, Joseph Locksley, age 30, and son, Shaun Locksley_**
> 
> **_Status: Cryogenic pod still active. Occupant still in stasis. No vital sign anomalies._**

I froze as I glanced over the file. 

After being released from cryostasis, one of my parents resisted my retrieval, and became an unfortunate casualty. 

I had no idea that the parent who had survived had been my father.

I also was unaware that I had two.

I delved a bit deeper into the file, curiosity piqued. I suppose I had always had a bit too much of that. Curiosity.

I never knew when to simply be satisfied with what I knew.

I always had to know more, even at the expense of myself and those around me.

> _**Shaun Locksley** _
> 
> **_Born September 23, 2075_ **
> 
> _**Child of Nathan and Joseph Locksley, and their surrogate, Adrianne Young** _

Surrogate...

I frowned. In the 25 years I had been the Director of the Institute, no one had ever told me about my unusual circumstances of parentage. 

All these years I had been led to believe that both of my parents had perished. One from an unprecedented casualty, and the other from cryopod failure. Now I knew that only one of these outcomes were true.

My father, Nathan, was still alive. 

 

I did not like when things were kept from me.

I never have.

I went back to my main menu. 

"Time to put this geographic positioning system to the test."

> **_Location of Vault 111..._ **
> 
> **_I n i t i a l i z i n g. . . . ._ **
> 
> **_L o c a t i n g. . . . . ._ **
> 
> **_Located_ **
> 
> **_VAULT-TEC VAULT #111 is located approximately 4.5 miles north of Concord, near the neighborhood of Sanctuary Hills._ **

My lips curved upwards into mirthless smile. 

Call me childish, but once in a while, I feel the need to reassert my authority over this organization.

 

You do not keep things from Father.

* * *

He was...shorter than I had anticipated.

Apparently the genetic material that had gone into the process of my birth had been far more Joseph than Nathan. I stood nearly a head taller than the man before me.

He looked rather shell-shocked. The wasteland was obviously nothing like the world he had left behind, and the Institute itself was strangeness on top of peculiarity.

What horrible atrocities had those eyes witnessed?

 

I pitied him.

 

The moment his eyes locked onto mine, his expression flickered into one of anger. He leveled his laser pistol at me, finger quivering on the trigger.

"Alright buddy, no more g-games! No more lies, no more chasing, n-no more _insanity_! Tell me where he is, r-right now!" His hazel eyes were filled with such determination, and yet, so much fear.

"Where's...where's my baby? **Where. Is. Shaun**."

I held my hands up in a placating gesture, attempting to soothe him. "I understand you may be upset, Nathan."

 " _Upset_?" Nathan said the word with a bitter laugh, disbelief etched into his features. "No. 'Upset' is what I am when someone spills Nuka-Cola on the keypad of my terminal. ' _Upset_ ' is how I feel when this godforsaken pistol jams up and I need to repair it for the 20th damn time. I'm not 'upset'. I. Am. _Furious_."

He aimed the pistol directly at my face, eyes full of such...exhaustion. "And I'm **tired.** I'm tired of running, and searching, and **_killing_** people." A shudder, nearly imperceptible, shook his frame.

He looked so small, in that moment. So fragile.

 

So very, very _human_.

 

"So please... **don't** make me kill you, too. I just...I just w-want to s-see my baby. He needs...he needs his family...what little there is left of us." Tears, not yet shed, shone in his eyes. " ** _Please._** "

Though I knew he couldn't possibly know he was indeed talking to the one he had been searching for so tirelessly, it...made me feel something. To hear how terribly he missed me.

 

Something warm bloomed in my chest.

 

"You've come a long way, Nathan. Faced many struggles and hardships." I took in a breath.

"Your search is over. It's me. I am Shaun. I am...your son."

Nathan's eyes widened. " _You_...you're lying!" He cried, finger squeezing against the trigger, a miniscule amount of pressure away from killing me.

"Am I? Is it that hard to fathom? You've been suspended in time for nearly 200 years. It's been 40 years since my removal from the vault."

"That's impossible...there's no way that-"

"Joseph."

He flinched. "H-How do you-"

"Your husband. My...my other father. Joseph Locksley. Your trigger finger is hesitant. I look like him, do I not? You noticed. I can tell from your micro-expressions. That's why you haven't shot me yet. I look like Joseph, yes? I have his eyes. His height and build. His general facial shape and complexion. But your hair color, as well as that of Adrianne Young, your surrogate."

Nathan trembled, tears threatening to spill over. "I...I...oh _God_..."

I took a step forward. "It's alright, I know it must be an incredible amount of information to take in...but it's true. I have no reason to lie to you."

"You...you're the leader. Of the Institute. You  _sent_ him." He let his guard down slightly, overwhelmed with emotion and panic.

"I did. I wanted...I hoped, that it might give you... _us_...some semblance of closure. Venegeance for the pain he caused us." A white lie, to appeal to his sensitivity. While I thought Kellogg to be a cold-blooded, murderous stain, I felt nothing about what pain he might have caused in retrieving me.

 

Without me, the Institute as I know it wouldn't exist, and Joseph's death was an unfortunate stepping stone in achieving greatness for mankind. 

 

"... _please. Please don't be lying to me "_ Nathan pleaded, voice barely above a whisper.

"All I have said is true. I am your son. We could do a test later, if you wish." I replied gently, placing my hand on his own and gently lowering the pistol. He made no move to resist.

Instead, he stared at me, eyes filled with tears, lips quivering, looking as though he'd shake apart.

He let the pistol hit the ground, then at once he lunged for me. I felt my muscles stiffen as he wrapped his arms around my torso and pulled me into a desperate embrace. He buried his head in the crook of my neck and wailed, tears soaking my lab coat, and shaking hands gripping me so tightly, as if I'd vanish into thin air upon him letting go.

I felt many things. Uncertainty, relief, apprehension...

 

Desire.

Powerfully so.

A  _burning_ , unquenchable yearning.

For what, I did not know.

 

My arms, without any sort of prompt, wrapped around him. 

He felt so... **perfect,** in my hold. His slight weight, his lithe, quivering form, the warmth of him through the skin-tight vault suit he wore.

I felt as though I was made to hold him like this. To cradle him in my arms.

"Oh _Shaun_... _oh God_... _ **Shaun**_..." He whimpered, nearly collapsing in my arms.

"Shh...it's alright...f-father." The word tasted odd on my tongue as I uttered it. I'd never called anyone that. I had been referred to by it, but I was never able to refer to someone else that way. I was still unsure how to feel about it.

"God...it's...it's been  _decades._ I missed everything _._ You're...you're already grown up. **_40 years_**...so much time... _wasted_."

"We still have time. We can..." I paused, wanting to phrase my words carefully. "We can still be a...a family, even now."

He held me tighter and cried harder, and hesitantly, I lifted my hand to stroke his hair, to soothe him, to calm him.

 

We stayed in that room for quite some time, just like that. Clinging to one another.

 

I don't believe I had ever felt more...content.


	2. A Father's Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nathan is intelligent.
> 
> And yet...
> 
>  
> 
> So terribly naïve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pls stop reading this awfulness oh my god. you still have like 2 more chances to fucking run before it gets SUPER fucked up. i'm trying to save you dammit.

"I found him, Valentine. I...I found him. After all this...all this time..." I whispered, not trusting the volume of my own voice.

_"That's...good, kid. Is he alright?"_

I scratched the base of my neck sheepishly. How to explain this?

I guess honesty really is the best policy.

 "Shaun is...fine..." He coughed. " _AndhealsomaybethedirectoroftheInsititute?"_

_"...Pardon?"_

This was going to be a doozy.

* * *

_"So what you're saying is, the Institute kidnapped your son...40 years ago? And he is the Director, meaning he runs the whole show? And he's the one who sent Kellogg in order to drop the clues we needed to get to the Institute?"_

"Y-Yes, that's about it..." I mumbled.

_"Jeeeezus, kid."_

"I know. I'm still struggling to wrap my head around it. But the important thing is that I found him. Institute or not, 40 or not, he's my baby. I..." My throat tightened up and I choked back a small sob.

My baby.

"I love him more than words can express."

* * *

I stood outside the door of my father's room, listening in on his conversation with 'Valentine'.

I mostly marveled at his ability to engineer a Pip-Boy to work as a two way radio. He did have a Master's in robotic engineering. It wouldn't be out of the realm of possibility for him.

Nathan was a brilliant man, that much was apparent.

"Well, I'd better get some sleep. I'll probably return to the office in two or three days. I trust you'll stay safe and out of trouble in my absence?" He said in a teasing tone.

_"Cute. Real cute. I've managed for decades without ya, kid."_

"Just saying, trouble tends to follow you, Nicky."

_Yeah, yeah, I'll watch out for myself. And you watch yourself too. Can never be too careful..."_

"Mhm...I'll talk to you tomorrow. See you around, Valentine."

_"You too, kid."_

The receiver on the Pip-Boy crackled, and my father let out a wistful sigh. I heard shuffling, and knew that he was turning in for the evening.

"Valentine...Nicky..." I mumbled to myself.

"H-Hello? Someone there?" Nathan called out.

Choosing not to respond, I turned around and walked out of the corridor, towards the steps leading to my own room.

As I passed a few straggling scientists on my way towards my quarters, my thoughts turned once more to my father.

Perhaps it was a betrayal of trust to eavesdrop on someone's conversation, but this is my facility. Nothing is said without my knowledge.

Whomever my father was talking to...this 'Valentine', was an unquantified variable. Where did his allegiance lie? Who were his allies, his enemies? 

 

I resolved to contact our intelligence director in the morning. 

 

I keyed into my room, let the door slide shut behind me, and began undressing, taking special care to let my clothing hit the floor as infrequently as possible.

As I hung my lab coat and slacks on their respective hangers, and folded my turtleneck, my mind returned to what my father, had said.

_"Institute or not, 40 or not, he's my baby. I...love him more than words can express."_

I had never heard such unconditional love in... _anyone's_ voice. Not in childhood, or even in adolescence. There was pride, yes, and later reverance and respect. There were the cursory disciplinary tones and soothing platitudes, but never deep love. Never such a pure, visceral emotion as that.

 

Nathan...loved me.

 

It was likely that he was the only one who did. In such a personal way, anyways.

I ran a hand through my hair and sighed. Nathan was going to be given an extensive tour of the facilities tomorrow, as he had been in no condition earlier today. I had to wake up early to properly plan my schedule.

As I climbed into bed, a random, rather pointless thought crossed my mind.

All things considered, my father was younger than I.

Biologically, he may be older than anyone in the Commonwealth, but mentally, emotionally, he wasn't even over 30. He was intelligent, that much was apparent, but he was young.

Inexperienced.

His prewar military records showed that he rarely was ever on the physical battlefield. He tended to injured soldiers and repaired Power Armor and weapons, but he had little beyond basic boot camp training.

He had barely passed his physical, and had he not aced the written test and exceeded their intellect requirements, he wouldn't have even been considered for the Army.

Not to mention, he had only been married to Joseph for a year before the bombs fell. They'd dated throughout college, and got engaged during Nathan's 6th year.

My father was naïve in many ways. Blithely trusting some random person out in the wastes, entrusting this person with so much of his past, with so much _information_.

The thought of someone in that cruel outside world taking advantage of my father, sent an empty, churning feeling pulsing through my stomach.

I wanted no harm to come to him.

Ever.

I stared at the ceiling, hands clasped over my stomach.

_"I'll probably return to the office in two or three days."_

I grit my teeth in agitation. The thought of him returning to that blasted hellscape sickened me, I won't lie.

Death, involuntary mutation, slavery, murder.

The worst acts ever carried out by humanity, perpetrated regularly in that twisted place.

The thought of Nathan being swept up in that world...

 

Who knew what he had already seen in his attempts to reach me?

 

A whisper passed through my mind.

_'You could make him stay.'_

 

 

What an odd train of thought.

Utterly Illogical, and yet strangely...

Not.

* * *

_Hands touched him, running down his arms, pawing his thighs, caressing his cheeks._

_"Shaun..." It was a masculine voice, but with a feminine edge. Gentle. Soothing._

_Motherly?_

_"I love you..."_

_Lips pressed against his own, soft and pliable. Warm and plump. He let out a groan, arching towards those stroking, grasping hands._

_"I...I love you, too..."_

_A laugh, light and airy, dizzy and free. "My baby..."_

_Hazel eyes opened, gazing into his own._

_"My beautiful baby boy..." A kiss was placed to his neck and skin was sucked at. He suppressed a moan, shivering. "I love you so much...more than words can express..."_

_"Don't...don't stop...please...please-"_

_"Shaun..."_

* * *

 

 "Nathan..." 

My eyes snapped open as I uttered his name. 

I stared down at myself, an uncharacteristic heat filling my cheeks.

This was...

Unprecedented.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wait a minute, something's fucky...


	3. A Son's Desire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shaun works through some...troubling feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow,, Cleanse me with flames please

I stared numbly at the tent in my sheets. I hadn't been this...aroused...in what felt like years. Not since I was in my teens and twenties, had I felt this way.

So painfully hard. 

I sat up and moved to the edge of the bed, my bare feet planted on the cool floor.

I hadn't touched myself in ages. Only to relieve stress, and I hadn't been suitably stressed since earlier this year.

And yet here I was. My length strained against my briefs, the outline clearly visible.

 

Nathan.

I had dreamt of Nathan.

Touching me.

Kissing me.

 

He called me beautiful. He said he loved me. 

Of course it was a dream, but it didn't change the feelings I had received from it. 

The thought of my father's hands on me...stroking me. The thought of his soft, plush lips on my skin...

"Damn it."

I stood to my feet and headed towards my bathroom. As the door slid behind me, I felt my skin bristle. I needed to release this...tension.

I opened the shower, stripping out of my briefs as I did so. I stepped in, closing the glass door behind myself. 

As the cool water ran over me, I sighed. My hand drifted over my pectorals, down over my abdominals, squeezing the base of my shaft gently. I gasped. The hard flesh beneath my palm felt familiar...and yet oddly not. 

 

It had been quite some time since I'd indulged in self-gratification.

I leaned against the glass wall, sighing as I slid my fist along my shaft, groaning.

 I thought back to my dream. To the 'Nathan' that existed there. Of his gorgeous eyes and his soft lips.

I could see it now. Nathan on his knees...nude, bare for my perusal.

Taking me out of my pants with those experienced, agile, gentle hands, caressing me to hardness.

He wouldn't be rough. No, with that mellow, soothing voice and those doe-like eyes, how could he be?

He'd stroke my cock, firmly and carefully, all while cooing words of affection and praise as he did so. 

And those lips, so sinfully pink and delightfully plush...

My thumb glided over the head of my cock, coming away sticky with pre-ejaculate, and I shuddered, momentarily weak-kneed.

He'd lap at the tip with his tongue, as if sampling my taste.

Would he compare flavors? Between myself and Joseph?

Which would he enjoy more?

I licked my lips and sighed, bucking into my hand.

He would take my cock expertly. Gorgeous lips locking around the head of my cock, the _slide_ as he worked his way to the base. The subtle squeezing and sucking as he nestled me in his mouth. Then, he'd hollow his cheeks as he pulled back, tongue sliding along hard flesh as he sucked.

Nathan would have to be experienced. A seven year relationship? They were bound to have engaged in some form of sexual activity.

In that moment, I must admit that I envied Joseph. I could only imagine the utter bliss. Seeing a beautiful man like Nathan on his knees before him, worshipping his cock, or completely nude on the bed they shared, waiting to be taken, to be  _ravished._

I groaned as a thrum of heat shot straight down to my groin, and tremors ran up my spine as I considered what Nathan would look like, sprawled out on my own bed.

Beckoning me to him with that sweet, soft voice.

I brought my other hand up to my lips and bit the meat of my palm, growling as I worked my shaft firmly and quickly.

He'd run those hands along my body, molding us together as he touched me, kissed me, nibbled at my-

_"Ah!"_

I let out a hiss as I finally came, cum spurting between the gaps of my curled fingers, my hips jerking. I gripped myself, despite the oversensitivity,  as I imagined it.

Nathan's face covered in my release, eyes half-lidded with such fervent lust, lips parting as his tongue flicked out to taste-

I groaned and released my shaft, that painful yet pleasurable buzz becoming too much for my senses.

The only thing that kept me from sinking to my knees was my shoulder against the wall.

I relaxed, just slightly, allowing the spray of cool water to wash away evidence of my pleasure.

* * *

As I dried off, I felt unsettled. 

 

I had just self-gratified while thinking of my father, and it was...difficult to process what I was feeling.

It wasn't remorse. I had enjoyed myself, and had hurt no one while indulging in my fantasy.

That was all it was, after all. A fantasy.

It wasn't guilt, either. I saw nothing to be guilty of. Nathan was asleep, completely unaware, and Joseph had been dead for 40 years. 

Shame? Was shame the feeling I was experiencing?

I suppose someone else would feel unimaginable shame, perhaps even disgust and self-loathing, after masturbating to thoughts of their father.

But...I felt no such thing. I felt absolutely fine with what I had done. Nathan was only barely in the position of my father figure. I had only discovered the man was even still alive a few months ago. I barely knew him. I was  _older_ than him, for god's sake. 

Incest was only considered wrong from a genetic and reproductive perspective. Incestuous couplings often produced genetically defective offspring.

But my father and I were both male.

There was nothing wrong with being attracted to him.

"Nathan is a handsome, kind, determined, intelligent, fascinating individual." I began ranting, to no one but myself. "I feel no shame in my desire for him, and with his intellect, I am sure he'd see reason, and agree that-" I trailed off, and my eyes widened. I stopped moving the towel along my body, letting it hang loosely in my grasp.

 

I was _disappointed_. 

 

Nathan, intelligent though he may be, was from a bygone era. An era rich in...puritanism. An era where incest in any regard was illegal.

Taboo.

Immoral and shameful, worthy of scorn.

 

He was a soldier, now more than ever. A man who had spent all his time upon being thrust into a harsh reality full of danger, death, and fear...searching for me. For his son.

Out of a desire to be a family once more.

 

My feelings

Could never come to fruition.

My loving fantasy.

My _sordid_ ambition.

 

My stomach churned. I'd never see him gaze at me like that. With desire, with _lust_. I'd never behold him nude before me, pleading with me to take him. I'd never kiss his lips, so impossibly soft and plush.

A powerful mixture of anger and sorrow filled me, and I hurled my towel across the room with a snarl.

This man, whom I'd released into this inhospitable world, who I'd found myself so invested in, who'd searched for me, fought for me,  ** _killed_** for me...he would  _never_ be mine.

All because of a subconcious impulse that didn't even factor in with our unique situation.

We were practically strangers to one another, and yet he'd never consider me to be anything more than...than his _child_. 

In that moment, I wished that I had lied. That I had never revealed my identity. As illogical as it sounded, I wished I had told him that 'Shaun' was dead. He'd have likely killed me, but as I said, it _was_ illogical.

"No..." I whispered. The thought of losing him, of being robbed of even the opportunity to achieve my fantasy, made my heart twist with bitterness.

 

I am Father. Shaun Locksley, the Director of the Institute, the most technologically advanced post-War organization to exist.

We create _synthetic life_.

There has to be a way, a way to get what I desire.

My brow furrowed, and I thought of early this morning. Of Nathan's desperation, of his warm body molded against my own, his heart-wrenching sobs.

"Don't worry, father." I whispered, sitting down on the edge of my bed, ignoring the chill as water began drying on my skin.

 

 

"If given enough time...perhaps I can persuade you that we _can_...become a 'family'..." 

 

 

By any means.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We got about 2 chapters before this story yeets into the 'irredeemably fucked' zone.


	4. Intelligence and Fear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shaun's research rubs Nathan the wrong way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shaun is a bit protective over his research. Don't talk shit about it, u fool.

Nathan was improbably endearing for a man his age.

His eyes widened with almost child-like wonder as he looked around our Advanced Systems laboratory, staring at scientists as they worked on various projects.

Robotics. His specialty.

"O-Oh! Careful there!" He chided gently. "That rotation cuff is very stiff. It may require more lubrication. Leave it as is and the whole thing could catastrophically collapse!"

The engineer working on it shot him an exceptionally dirty glare, which made my father give a soft apology and a nervous chuckle, stepping away.

The Bioengineering labs were bustling as usual. A young lab assitant, by the name of Brian Virgil, ran into us, and began apologizing profusely, face flushed with embarrassment. 

"It's alright. No harm done, no need to go on." I cut him off. From what his superiors had told me, Brian was prone to rambling and anxiety, and I'd rather nip it in the bud before it got unduly obnoxious.

"Yeah, it's alright! Hell, I understand how you feel. I used to do that all the time with my old professors. They called me 'The Apologist'...took me years to grow out of the name and that particular behavior..." Nathan scratched the back of his neck and flushed a beautiful hue of light, pretty coral.

I felt my blood pump harsher, as if my entire circulatory system was working overtime to counteract the effect the sight had on me.

Brian gave him a nervous smile. "R-Really?"

Nathan nodded. "Just keep working hard and focusing on your goal. It's..." His eyes suddenly looked glassy, as if he was staring at something beyond us all. "It's what kept me going all this time, after all..." He had dropped off into a murmur, nervously playing at his wrist.

Oh dear.

I placed a hand gently on my father's shoulder, and he jolted suddenly, eyes seemingly growing clear once more. "Father, I'd like to show you something. Something extraordinary."

"Uh? O-Okay...? Lead the way."

I nodded carefully, then turned my gaze over to Virgil, who looked uneasy. "You may resume your work, Virgil."

He nodded reluctantly, gripping the folders he held tightly. "Y-Yes, Father."

We turned away from him, towards the door that would lead us out of the Bio Labs.

* * *

"This...is where we create our synths."

Nathan stared up at me. "The robots?" He asked raising an eyebrow.

"No...these synths are quite different from those you may have seen. Generation 1 and 2 synths are obviously robotic...but Generation 3 is far more...organic. I'm sure you've seen them about."

"Wait...you mean...all those people? In...in the jumpsuits? They're robots!?"

"Synths. And...yes, they are. Synthetic humans. All the ones you have seen are adults, but lately, we've been exploring the possibilities of synths of any age."

Nathan's brow furrowed, expression incredulous. "You mean....synthetic children. Robo-kids."

"Yes."

Nathan chuckled. "Sounds like a Saturday morning cartoon...no offense, son, but this sounds a bit...uncanny."

A stab of resentment shot through me at the reminder of our relationship, but I brushed it off.

Patience was a virtue.

"I assure you, with the way our research has been looking, we'll be able to have a perfect model in at least 15 years. It will be utterly indistinguishable from a human child."

Nathan frowned, lips poked out just so, hazel eyes stormy with consternation.

"What's the purpose?"

"Purpose?" 

"Of making a synthetic child. I mean yes, you could program them to feel and act and talk like a child...make them look like a child...but what then? Can they experience puberty?"

"Well...theoretically, no, but-"

"Can they grow up at all?"

"Unlikely, however-"

Nathan looked frustrated. "Then what's the point!? Have a helpless, naive child for...what, forever?"

My eyes narrowed, and I felt myself becoming incensed. He made it sound as if the research we were doing was somehow  _unnecessary_. "The point is that we can do it! It would be a technological marvel!" I was raising my voice. I shouldn't, I knew it it, but it was too late to back down. "I figured a man as intelligent as you would comprehend that. Perhaps  _not._ " I hissed venomously.

"And what then? Have a perpetual child be subject to this hostile environment? Where the outside world is a bombed out wasteland and the world they are raised in is a clinical, sterilized research center! A child should be raised in a loving home, with a family! And they should grow up!" His eyes filled with the beginning of tears. "How in any way is this a good idea, Shaun!? How can you be alright with such a thing?"

I felt cold, raw fury bubble up in my stomach, burning and freezing all at once. My fists clenched.

How _dare_ he insinuate-!

 

I rounded on him quickly, teeth grit, and an odd delight filled me as he flinched away. My shadow seemed to swallow him within itself, and he stared up at me.

 

Fear.

Such sweet, sweet Fear.

Soft whimpers,

Sparkling tears.

 

"Maybe you should stop projecting your _feelings_ about  _me_  onto our research, _**Nathan**_." I spat. I felt as though I was scolding him, like a rebellious child. I would have found it amusing and ironic, were I not so angry.

Hazel eyes full of hurt, Nathan back away from me.

"I...I'm sorry." He mumbled. He looked away from me, body language sending out warning bells. He wanted to run.

From me.

All at once, something resembling regret washed over me.

"I...Nathan-"

"I'd like to go back to the Wasteland please." Nathan whispered.

 

My mucles all seemed to lock up at once.

 

I must have misheard. "I...pardon?"

He balled up his fists and shuddered. "Please let me leave. I want...I want to go back to the surface, Shaun. I don't feel comfortable."

"What? Why?" I stepped forward, hand outstretched slightly, but he stepped back.

"I didn't feel safe just then." He chuckled humorlessly. "I mean...I  _never_ feel safe. But...the way you just acted brought back... _bad memories_...so I would like to leave."

"Father, I didn't mean to-"

"I know." Nathan cut me off, voice tired and eyes washed out. "I know you didn't, sweetie."

My heart dropped into my stomach. I had upset him in some way? Reminded him of some...past transgression?

Something twisted in me wanted to deny his request. Keep him here.

With me.

Where he was safe and sound and I could keep an eye on him and perhaps convince him to want _me_ as much as I want _him_ -

 

"Shaun. _Please_."

I relented with a sigh. "You can leave. The chip that was installed in your Pip-Boy will allow you to relay to and from the Institute. My chest clenched painfully.

Please.

"Thank you."

Don't leave me.

* * *

Even as Nathan left, that feeling in my chest never settled. 

 

 I couldn't let him leave. Not so quickly, after we'd just found one another.

 

"Shaun, do you even realize how ridiculous this request is?" 

"Justin, I wouldn't be asking this of you if I didn't think it was important."

He set down the folder he'd been reading out of, pinching the bridge of his nose. "You want me to allow you to borrow a Courser and travel to the surface with it in order to, what?  _Spy_ on your father?"

"It would be helpful to know his allies and enemies. Nathan will be a very big asset to the Institute. I wish to gather intelligence. I want to observe him myself."

Justin sighed. "Fine. Fine, I'll see if there are any available. Never say I do nothing for you, Shaun."

I smiled. "Your cooperation is appreciated, Ayo."

He waved me away. "Yes, yes. Now if you don't mind, I have important things to do."

* * *

The Courser that stood beside me in the relay was silent, steel-gray eyes staring straight ahead.

The countdown to relay echoed in my ears distantly, but I was more focused on my thoughts of Nathan. It had already been hours since he'd returned to the Commonwealth, and my body was alight with nervous tension. 

I needed to see his face.

I needed him to be safe.

"One..."

A blue flash, and the world went white.

* * *

"Director, we are currently outside of the Commonwealth's largest settlement, Diamond City. This is most likely the place where Nathan Locksley would be."

"Yes...let's go inside. After all, the sooner we gather intelligence, the sooner we can return to the Institute and I can take off these...rags." I muttered. Ayo had more or less forced me to wear plain clothes while on the surface.

Must Commonwealth clothing really be so unkempt and patchwork?

The Courser merely inclined its head in confirmation, and followed me towards the massive, rusted gates of Diamond City.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you better watch out...you better watch out....yOu bEtTeR wAtcH ouT! YOU BETTER WATCH OUT, YOU BETTER WATCH-


End file.
